Someone needs to kill Tim Burton

When I was a kid, like most other children, I was intrigued and spellbound by Batman and Superman.
So when I finally did watch Tim Burton's Batman I was ecstatic, it was a no contest Smackdown for the Lousy Adam West show. I was so in awe of Tim Burton that I went on to watch many of his shitty movies, Like Edward Scissorhands… Which I know multitudes of people would swear by. But seriously think of how sick Burton is… How does the guy wipe his ass? He could have just as well given the guy one decent arm for humanitarian reasons, but no!! Every time good old Ed visits the crapper he slices himself a new anus.

That being said, Yesterday I thought I’d give my old Idol a chance, and since my father enjoyed putting me to sleep with gay fairy tales… I thought it’d remind of the good old days by watching Alice in Wonderland.

I usually aim to start with a positive critique of a film. But this time I have to change my modus operandi.

The shitty thing was, all four of us woke up at the interval.

Now none of us had been hung-over, none of us had been smoking grass or anything of that nature… So I deduced the movie was so crappy that all of us fell asleep within five minutes of its commencement.

Now we were wide awake post interval, not because it miraculously became interesting, But because all of us realized that Alice was one of the biggest retards in the universe… More so than the guy from Rain Man.

Why the hell would you run after a suited bunny? And even if you did feel compelled to ask where it got it’s three piece from… Why would you waste two hours fucking around with the Mad Hatter and the Lesbian White Queen trying to procure a gay pearl sword.

Alice could have just gone back and pocketed the damn grow it all cake. And when it was time to face the Jabberwocky… Eaten that shit like there was no fucking tomorrow.

I’d like to see a fag Jabberwocky take on a 600 foot prepubescent Alice…

But that would make too much sense.

Fuck Tim Burton.

And his fucking Hairdo.